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Great Finishes...

The IDEAL man does not smoke, does not drink, does not flirt, goes to bed early, in short ... does not exist


Keep your office clean... stay home !!!


Be quiet in the office...... respect the fact that others sleep !


Sometime my mind asks why I miss you? Why I care for you? Why I remember you? Then my heart answers it's simply because
mental patient needs more care .


Like energy, love can neither be created nor destroyed. It can just be transferred from
one girlfriend to another girl friend with loss of Certain amount of money


Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, small
people talk about others ... But  legends never talk
, they forward jokes to friends .....

Whats is HR ?? (Human Resource Management)

One day while walking down the street a highly successful Human Resources
Manager was tragically hit by a bus and she died. Her soul arrived up in
heaven where she was met at the Pearly Gates by St. Peter himself. 

"Welcome to Heaven," said St. Peter. "Before you get settled in though,
it seems we have a problem. You see, strangely enough, we've never once had
a Human Resources Manager make it this far and we're not really sure what 
to do with you."

"No problem, just let me in," said the woman.

"Well, I'd like to, but I have higher orders. What we're going to do is
let you have a day in Hell and a day in Heaven and then you can choose 
whichever one you want to spend an eternity in."

"Actually, I think I've made up my mind, I prefer to stay in Heaven",
said the woman

"Sorry, we have rules..." 

And with that St. Peter put the executive in an elevator and it went
down-down-down to hell.

The doors opened and she found herself stepping out onto the putting
green of a beautiful golf course. In the distance was a country club and 
standing in front of her were all her friends - fellow executives that she had
worked with and they were well dressed in evening gowns and cheering for
her. They ran up and kissed her on both cheeks and they talked about old 
times. They played an excellent round of golf and at night went to the
country club where she enjoyed an excellent steak and lobster dinner.

She met the Devil who was actually a really nice guy (kind of cute) and 
she had a great time telling jokes and dancing. She was having such a good
time that before she knew it, it was time to leave. Everybody shook her hand
and waved goodbye as she got on the elevator. 

The elevator went up-up-up and opened back up at the Pearly
Gates and found St. Peter waiting for her.

"Now it's time to spend a day in heaven," he said. So she
spent the next 24 hours lounging around on clouds and playing the harp and
singing. She had great time and before she knew it her 24 hours were up and
St. Peter came and got her.

"So, you've spent a day in hell and you've spent a day in 
heaven. Now you must choose your eternity,"

The woman paused for a second and then replied, "Well, I
never thought I'd say this, I mean, Heaven has been really great and all, but 
I think I had a better time in Hell."

So St. Peter escorted her to the elevator and again she went
down-down-down back to Hell.

When the doors of the elevator opened she found herself 
standing in a desolate wasteland covered in garbage and filth. She saw her
friends were dressed in rags and were picking up the garbage and putting
it in sacks.

The Devil came up to her and put his arm around her. 

"I don't understand," stammered the woman, "yesterday I was
here and there was a golf course and a country club and we ate lobster and
we danced and had a great time. Now all there is a wasteland of garbage 
and all my friends look miserable."

The Devil looked at her smiled and told...
....
....
....
....
....
.....
 ....
....
.... 
....
"Yesterday we were recruiting you, today you're an Employee"

60 Interesting Facts

1. Saturday mail delivery in Canada was eliminated by Canada.
Post on February 1, 1969!


2. In Tokyo , a bicycle is faster than a car for most trips of less than 50 minutes!


3. There are 18 different animal shapes in the Animal Crackers cookie zoo!


4. Should there be a crash, Prince Charles and Prince William never travel on the same  airplane as a precaution!


5. Your body is creating and killing 15 million red blood cells per second!


6. The king of hearts is the only king without a moustache on a standard playing card!


7. There are no clocks in Las Vegas gambling casinos!


8. There is one slot machine in Las Vegas for every eight inhabitants!


9. The Mona Lisa has no eyebrows. It was the fashion in Renaissance Florence to shave them off!


10. Every day 20 banks are robbed. The average take is $2,500!


11. The most popular first name in the world is: Muhammad!


12. Tablecloths were originally meant to be served as towels with which dinner guests could wipe their hands and faces after eating!


13. Tourists visiting Iceland should know that tipping at a restaurant is considered an insult!
 

14. One car out of every 230 made was stolen last year!


15. The names of Popeye's four nephews are Pipeye, Peepeye, Pupeye, and Poopeye!


16. Until the nineteenth century, solid blocks of tea were used as money in Siberia !


17. The Nobel Peace Prize medal depicts three naked men with their hands on each other's shoulders!


18. When glass breaks, the cracks move faster than 3,000 miles per hour. To photograph the event, a camera must shoot at a millionth of a second!


19. A Boeing 747 airliner holds 57,285 gallons of fuel!


20. A car uses 1.6 ounces of gas idling for one minute. Half an ounce is used to start the average automobile!


21. The Philadelphia mint produces 26 million pennies per day!


22. A lightning bolt generates temperatures five times hotter than those found at the sun's surface!


23. A violin contains about 70 separate pieces of wood!


24. It is estimated that 4 million "junk" telephone calls, phone solicitations by persons or programmed machine are made every day in the United States !


25. It takes glass one million years to decompose, which means it never wears out and can be recycled an infinite amount of times!


26. Forest fires move faster uphill than downhill!


27. Almost half the newspapers in the world are published in the United States and Canada !


28. The two-foot long bird called a Kea that lives in New Zealand likes to eat the strips of rubber around car windows!


29. Most lipstick contains fish scales!


30. Skepticisms is the longest word that alternates hands when typing!


31. One ragweed plant can release as many as one billion grains of pollen!


32. It's illegal to drink beer out of a bucket while you're sitting on a curb in St. Louis !


33. The first product to have a bar code was Wrigleys gum!


34. No piece of square dry paper can be folded more than 7 times in half!


35. A group of geese on the ground is a gaggle, a group of geese in the air is a skein!


36. Over 2500 left handed people a year are killed from using products made for right handed people!


37. There are more than 10 million bricks in the Empire State Building !


38. If you counted 24 hours a day, it would take 31,688 years to reach one trillion!


39. Taphephobia is the fear of being buried alive!


40. A crocodile always grows new teeth to replace the old teeth!


41. The sun is 330,330 times larger than the earth!


42. Clinophobia is the fear of beds!


43. A 'jiffy' is an actual unit of time for 1/100th of a second!


44. Porcupines float in water!


45. Pinocchio is Italian for "pine eye"!


46. The sentence "The quick brown fox jumps over a lazy dog." uses every letter of the alphabet!


47. The average life span of a major league baseball is 5-7 pitches!


48. The Mint once considered producing doughnut-shaped coins!


49. The only 15 letter word that can be spelled without repeating a letter is "uncopyrightable" !


50. The longest recorded flight of a chicken is 13 seconds! During your lifetime, you'll eat bout 60,000 pounds of food, that's the weight of about 6 elephants!


51. Some ribbon worms will eat themselves if they cant find any food!


52. Dolphins sleep with one eye open!


53. The worlds oldest piece of chewing gum is over 9000 years old!


54. In space, astronauts cannot cry properly, because there is no gravity, so the tears can't flow down their faces!


55. There are more plastic flamingos in the U.S, than real ones!


56. About 3000 years ago, most Egyptians died by the time they were 30!


57. More people use blue toothbrushes, than red ones!


58. A sneeze travels out your mouth at over 100 m.p.h.!


59. Your ribs move about 5 million times a year, every time you breathe!
 
60. All these facts are true

Sheep with no Legs

Q: What do u call a Sheep with no legs?

A: Cloud