So Bill Gates and the chairman of GM are arguing over which company is better. Bill Gates boast, "If cars grew in technology as fast as computers did, we would be driving v-32 instead of v-8, our cars would get 5000 miles to the gallon, the top speed would be mach seven. Anyway the sticker price for a car would be 50 dollars."
And which the GM replies, "Sure, but would you really want a car that crashes 4 times a day!"
Who wins in the longer run?
My wife and I were comparing notes the other day. "I have a higher IQ, did better on my SATs and make more money than you," she pointed out.
"Yeah, but when you step back and look at the big picture, I'm still ahead," I said.
She look mystified. "How do you figure?"
"I married better," I replied.
"Yeah, but when you step back and look at the big picture, I'm still ahead," I said.
She look mystified. "How do you figure?"
"I married better," I replied.
Husband Replacement
Duck decoys, fishing rods, boots -- outdoor gear of all kinds was piled high in the garage. One day a guy found his wife staring at the mess. "He hope he die first, so he don't have to get rid of all this," she sighed.
"Look on the bright side," he suggested. "If I go first, you can put an ad in the paper. When all the men come by to check out the stuff, you can pick out a replacement for me."
Still staring at the pile, she said, "Nah. He wouldn't be my type."
"Look on the bright side," he suggested. "If I go first, you can put an ad in the paper. When all the men come by to check out the stuff, you can pick out a replacement for me."
Still staring at the pile, she said, "Nah. He wouldn't be my type."
Doorbell
A priest is walking down the street one day when he notices a very small boy trying to press a doorbell on a house across the street.
However, the boy is very small and the doorbell is too high for him to reach.
After watching the boy's efforts for some time, the priest moves closer to the boy's position.
He steps smartly across the street, walks up behind the little fellow and, placing his hand kindly on the child's shoulder leans over and gives the doorbell a solid ring.
Crouching down to the child's level, the priest smiles benevolently and asks, "And now what, my little man?"
To which the boy replies, "Now we run!"
However, the boy is very small and the doorbell is too high for him to reach.
After watching the boy's efforts for some time, the priest moves closer to the boy's position.
He steps smartly across the street, walks up behind the little fellow and, placing his hand kindly on the child's shoulder leans over and gives the doorbell a solid ring.
Crouching down to the child's level, the priest smiles benevolently and asks, "And now what, my little man?"
To which the boy replies, "Now we run!"
When was the longest day in the Bible?
When was the longest day in the Bible?
The day Adam was created because there was no Eve.
The day Adam was created because there was no Eve.
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